Everybody sucks 2020

Swing State Voter Gets Traditional Election Attention By Boldly Declaring Support For Neither Candidate.


Reefers News Ohio-Susan Schmidt, stay at home mother of 5, has had about enough of this presidential election.  She’s actually had enough of all elections.

I can’t stand none of these politicians. I never can,” says Schmidt.

Tired of all of everyone’s arguments for their chosen candidates, Schmidt stayed up all night on Tuesday night trying to find a way to voice the fact that she doesn’t really agree with either candidate and shouldn’t have to be forced to choose between two devils.

I didn’t even go to bed last night.  I just couldn’t sleep until my brain gave me an answer on how to handle this situation.  I’m sure that’s the way that famous philosophers like Poseidon did it.  They just refused to go to sleep until they figured it out.”

Long into the 3am hour, Schmidt finally conceived a solution.

I actually came in from the porch to pee and then went to the online to play my games and take a thinkin’ break, that’s when I came across a photo on Facebook from my cousin Ralph.  He posted a photo of one of them election yard signs, but instead of it being for Trump or Biden, it just said that everybody sucks.  I figured at that point that God had gave me the solution to my problem, so I hit the share button and went to bed.”

Re-invigorated by her new, clear position, Schmidt says that she has been able to sleep soundly ever since the night of her epiphany.

When asked about any other plans to advance her cause Schmidt replied, “No, I made my opinion known.  Everyone is on the Facebook, and now they know that if they try to talk to me about Biden or Trump that they’re just going to end up feeling stupid.”

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